1. Teacher : Victor, if I say “ I have went”, that’s wrong, isn’t it?

Victor: Yes, Sir, ‘ Cos you ain’t went- you’re still here!’


  1. Are we poisonous? The baby snake asked its mother. ‘Yes, dear’, she replied. Why do you ask?’

Because I have just bitten my tongue!’

  1. What did the lion say when it saw two hunters in a jeep? ‘Meals on Wheels…’

  2. ‘I’ve lost my dog’.

‘Why not put an advt. In the paper?’

‘Don’t be daft- he can’t read’.

  1. ‘My cat took first prize at the Bird Show’.

‘Your cat took first prize at the Bird Show? How did he manage that?’

‘He ate the prize canary…’

  1. ‘What did your mother do yesterday morning, Vicky?’

She done her shopping, miss. Done her shopping , Vicky?

Where is your grammar?

She done her shopping as well, miss.

  1. ‘I was on the telly last night’.

Were you?

Yes, when I am drunk I’ll sleep anywhere.

  1. Julia, this report is most disappointing. I promised you a bicycle if you passed your examinations. What have you been doing with yourself?

Learning to ride a bike.

  1. Dad, I bet there’s something I can do that you can’t do.

What’s that son?

Grow up!

  1. ‘Mum, Can I have two pieces of cake, please?’

Certainly    – take this piece and cut it in two!’

  1. ‘Dad, when I get old will the calves of my legs be cows…?

  2. Trevor Trevord, ‘is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?’

That’s what they say, said his dad.

‘Well, give me an apple- quick. I ‘ve just broken the doctor’s window!’


Cloisonne is an artistic process by which metal objects are decorated with enamel. Metal strips are soldered edge wise on to the surface of the object creating compartments to be filled with colored enamel. When the objects is heated, the enamel fuses with the metal. Originally it is a Persian technique but was perfected by the Chinese, Japanese and French.

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